Spread Kindness

September 11th is infused with historical sadness. So on this day, let's spread kindness, even if only smiling at a cashier, saying hello to a stranger, or letting a driver cut in on the freeway. 

Share a bit of joy with someone, anyone, today.

#IWSG: What Would You Change About 2017?

First Wednesday of the month is Insecure Writers Support Group!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! For complete details visit:  http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/



This month's IWSG question up for discussion is: "As you look back on 2017, with all its successes and failures, if you could backtrack, what would you do differently?"

My answer: The first thought that popped into my mind dealt with the current political nature of the country; however, the followup thoughts were . . . I wish I could go back and be nicer to people, do more kind things for others, make more people smile. Because while I might not be able to change the landscape of the entire country (or world for that matter), I can change the trajectory of one person's day . . . simply by smiling or saying hello or being charitable. We all can. Imagine that. ;) 

Book Review: A GIFT OF LOVE by Tony Cointreau

If you still have gifts to buy for people on your Christmas shopping list – look no further! This book is the perfect gift for everyone.

When I was first offered this book for free in exchange for an honest review, I hesitated. Honestly, I didn’t want to read a book about caregiving at the end of a loved one’s life. It sounded too depressing to me. However, I remembered how much I enjoyed reading Tony Cointreau’s memoir, Ethel Merman, Mother Teresa … and Me, and I decided to give this book a try simply because he’s a fabulous writer.

I’m so glad I took the time to read A Gift of Love, because it’s NOT a book about caring for people who are dying. It’s a book about caring – for everyone.

While A Gift of Love is the title of this book, it is also the name of one of Mother (now Saint) Teresa’s hospices in New York where Tony Cointreau served for more than a decade. Tony came from an affluent background and a successful show business career, but instead of sitting back and relaxing, he chose to get up and get to work – mopping floors, changing adult diapers, and loving people marked as unlovable.

He wrote in the Afterword, “Mother Teresa believed in the simple words of the great teachers such as Jesus and Buddha and lived not a ‘Christian’ life but a Christlike life—two very different things in my eyes. She tried to teach us all the simple philosophy of unconditional love for one another and the importance of being non-judgmental. Oh yes, and above all she wanted us to learn the joy of being of service with our two hands. Very simple and very beautiful. … I will never forget the many wonderful men and women I helped in their final hours of life, and how much more they gave to me than I could ever have given to them” (pages 179-180).

This book was written in such a way that you could either read the entire thing from cover to cover (which I recommend for your first time through the book) or you could pick a topic (such as Touch, Respect, or Humor) from the table of contents and read a single chapter to gain more insight on that specific concept.

The only chapter that felt a little out of place in this book was the one titled “Signs from Beyond.” Now understand, I fully believe in a life after death, and I believe that spirits exist among us, and I believe that some people can see, feel, and hear these spirits. However, this chapter felt disjointed from the others. Maybe it should have been its own book, especially considering Tony went into details of his own experiences with the mysterious realms of other spheres. But nonetheless, it is very common for dying people to see and communicate with the spirits of those who’ve passed on before them … so in that sense, I suppose this chapter had a place within the pages of this book. With that said, I absolutely loved all of the other chapters.

Here are some my favorite nuggets from A Gift of Love:

“None of us has to be a genius to make a difference in someone’s life or death. It takes no great intellect or training. It’s only a question of sincere listening and genuine caring. This can be the final gift from the person who knows you best in the world, or from a total stranger” (page 20).

“The simple gift of music can bring joy, no matter what the human condition” (page 38).

“Whether you are terminally ill or in the best of health, what could be better for your wellbeing than to feel useful to humanity? … Just see how good one simple act of generosity can make you feel—especially generosity of the spirit” (page 72).

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking to lift their own mood or the moods of others. Tony’s writing is exceptional and the stories shared within A Gift of Love are uplifting and inspiring. I want to be a better person after reading this book, and I want to achieve that goal by following Tony’s example of service, kindness, and generosity.

To paraphrase Tony: Take advantage of each precious opportunity to express affection and appreciation to other people, especially (but not limited to) those people who have enriched your life in any way.

[I received a copy of this book for free in exchange for an honest review. My opinion was in no way influenced.]

Book Review: ETHEL MERMAN, MOTHER TERESA ... AND ME

Ethel Merman, Mother Teresa...and Me: My Improbable Journey from Châteaux in France to the Slums of Calcutta by Tony Cointreau

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I thoroughly enjoyed this book! And I highly recommend it to: anyone in a book club (great discussion opportunities within), anyone who is a fan of Ethel Merman or Mother Teresa, anyone who is poor wishing they were rich, anyone who wishes they were loved more as a child, anyone who wants to serve and love others … to anyone: I recommend this book.

This memoir is beautifully written. It is captivating, heart-breaking, haunting, and inspiring.

I honestly had no idea who Tony Cointreau was when this book was offered to me for review, but the title caught me: Ethel Merman, Mother Teresa … And Me

I wanted to know how Ethel Merman and Mother Teresa could share the title of a book. I wanted to know the details of that story.

And an interesting story it is.

It’s about a boy of financial privilege who learns that money, in fact, cannot bring true joy or love into your life. However, championing people in their most vulnerable moments with generosity and kindness … can … and does bring true joy and love into not only your life, but also the lives of others.

Not everyone is able to learn this, and this memoir is peppered with so many suicides of Tony’s friends, acquaintances, and relatives that I lost count of how many lives were lost as a direct result of sadness.

On page two he describes the privileges his mother enjoyed. “Even when she went for a stroll, the chauffeur followed her slowly with the car, in case she tired.” And then later, even after all of his self-enlightenment, Tony writes on page 203, “I felt quite ecstatic about flying first class halfway around the world, landing in a marble palace, and preparing to offer my services to the poorest of the poor dying in Nirmal Hriday—“Home of the Pure Heart.” What’s wrong with this picture? Maybe nothing. I certainly believe my motives were pure. Until then I had only known first class, marble palaces, and high tea, so it seemed perfectly natural to be staying in that environment, without realizing the irony of the situation.” But as Mother Teresa so clearly told Tony later, “… even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own …” (page 243).

That’s the truth of this memoir: we all want to be loved and wanted for who we are.

However, there is even more to this memoir. There is so much rich history and emotional story telling. I gasped and cried more than once.

On page 23, Tony writes of his maternal grandmother, “… she had been on the streets of Paris with her two children when a German aeroplane overhead dropped a bomb that exploded on the sidewalk in front of her, killing two women.”

And then on page 36 he writes of his paternal grandparents, who had left their chateau when the Germans occupied it, finally returning to their home. “The next morning when my grandparents entered the gates they were elated to see dozens of American soldiers asleep in the fields next to the house. They approached to greet the men with open arms before they realized that they were all dead.”

In addition to personalizing the details of war and history, Tony also addresses tough topics such as sexual abuse and homosexuality.

If you are someone who has not come to terms with the fact that child abuse exists and influences lives in very deep ways, you may not want to read this book, or you may just want to skip the mere three and a half pages in the chapter titled “My Annus Horribilis” where the author acknowledges his own personal horror that happened to him as a child. I hate reading and thinking about it, but the author did a great job of presenting the facts of what happened without going on and on in unnecessary details. He also did a great job of presenting his feelings about being gay without going into unnecessary details. I respect the fact that he has been on a lifelong search for love, peace, and happiness. We all have to choose our own paths as we search for these things in our own lives.

So what do Ethel Merman and Mother Teresa have in common? According to Tony, they both laughed, and they both made you feel like you were the only person in the world who mattered. They genuinely shared love.

As Mother Teresa is quoted on page 213, “If we look around us we will surely find someone in need. We needn’t go halfway around the world to be of service. There are people everywhere starving for our love.”

And on page 243, Mother Teresa is quoted again, “Be kind, show kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. … To all who suffer and are lonely, give always a happy smile.”




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