FEAR of Your Lover IS an Aphrodisiac!

So, last post I delved into the topic of Bella and Edward from TWILIGHT, and how she fears he might drink her blood. I also mentioned that a smart person from another blog wrote:

Fear of your lover should not be an aphrodisiac.

Well ... whether it should be or should not be ... it is.

Think about it. Some women have:
1. One Night Stands
2. Affairs
3. Fantasies of being with the bad boy
4. Flirt fests with the bouncer/linebacker/drug dealer/teacher/best friend's boyfriend/boss/etc.

All of the above items (and more?) involve an element of fear. Fear of your lover and the potential harm he could cause to you and/or your family.

But! I'd like to take it a step further and have you consider that fear is also an aphrodisiac with a SAFE boy/man/lover/husband. Seriously. Unless you're a rock, you have feelings. Feelings that could be dangerous if you trust the wrong person or even the right person at the wrong time or in the wrong place. Otherwise, why would people have sex in elevators, on airplanes, in libraries, in movie theaters? They do these things because they have become safe in their relationship and they want to bring back some of the fear-aphrodisiac.

Even if you and your safe partner only have safe sex in a safe place, there can still be an element of fear. During sex you are exposing yourself more than at any other moment. If something, anything, goes wrong, your inner most core could be damaged. What could go wrong with a safe partner in a safe place? A lot of things. Just use your imagination.

But! Let's take it even a step further. Maybe it's not FEAR at all that is the actual aphrodisiac.

Maybe, in fact, it is TRUST.

Trust that even though your boyfriend wants to drink your blood, you have faith that he loves you more than that blood-drinking-desire. Trust that your football-playing-linebacker will leave his aggression on the field and never hit you. Trust that your safe-devoted-husband will never make fun of your ever-growing-love-handles.

Trust trumps fear.
And, that, is the climactic aphrodisiac.

Fear of Your Lover Should not be an Aphrodisiac

I took the above title from Regina Barreca, Ph.D.. She wrote a series of blog posts for Psychology Today on the topic of the TWILIGHT phenomenon and why teens love it, and she hates it.

Sometimes, I am a little slow, and so I had to read the words a second time. Here, you can, too:

Fear of Your Lover Should not be an Aphrodisiac

So, what do you think about that? Do you agree that Bella's fear of Edward drinking her blood is an aphrodisiac? And do you think this concept is damaging to teenage girls? ... heck ... all women?

Do you think some girls/women date men, love men, because they are dangerous? What about when you were a teenager? Were you attracted to the dangerous boys or to the safe boys?

Regardless of where the feminist movement has brought us, most of the teenage girls I know still lack self-esteem. I don't think it's something you can GIVE to another person. I think it is something they must learn and discover for themselves. It just so happens that most of us go through that learning phase as young women. But, I know plenty of women (including myself to a certain extent) who continue to struggle late into their lives with self-esteem issues.

So, if there's a man totally devoted to your every desire and need, is that enough? Or does there need to be an element of danger as well? And frankly, is it healthy to hope for, want, or need a man to be THAT devoted to you? Shouldn't he have a life of his own? Hobbies? Friends?