Coaching & Editorial Prices

While writing novels remains my primary focus, I'm often asked if I offer coaching and editorial services. Yes, I do. Details are below. Feel free to email me at margokelly1 @ outlook . com (without the spaces) to ask additional questions and make arrangements to propel your manuscript to the next level.



One-on-One Coaching :: $100 per hour
In person, online, or over the phone, we’ll discuss where you are on your writer’s journey and where you’d like to be. After clearly defining your goals, I’ll offer step-by-step guidelines for you to achieve them. ***I am not currently accepting new clients for coaching.***

Query Critique :: $35
Once your manuscript is polished and you’re ready to seek an agent, I’ll review your query letter and offer suggestions to catch the interest of literary agents. This package includes a second evaluation after you’ve made changes.

Synopsis Analysis :: $120
Many agents and editors require a synopsis with your manuscript submission. I’ll point you in the right direction before you begin, and then I’ll critique your finished synopsis (up to four single-spaced pages).

Submission Package :: $250
This evaluation includes thorough line-edits of your entire submission package, including your query letter, synopsis, and the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

First 100 Page Assessment :: $350
If you’re not certain about your manuscript or its potential, having your first 100 pages critiqued may help give you the direction you need. I’ll provide a detailed line-by-line edit, pointing out grammar and punctuation issues as well as addressing big-picture ideas regarding character, plot, and setting. (I require standard formatting of your pages, including double-spacing and 12-point font.)

Reader Report :: $750
I’ll read your entire manuscript (up to 85,000 words) and provide at least a two-page written evaluation of your overarching ideas, including characters, plot, setting, voice, and theme. This package does not include a line-edit. 

Full Manuscript Edit (up to 85,000 words) :: $1,000
With this comprehensive service, I’ll read your entire manuscript, providing line-edits and an editorial letter addressing the big-picture ideas. Manuscripts must be formatted according to industry standards. (Manuscripts over 85,000 words will be charged at $0.013 per word.)

Complete Package :: $2,100
Starting with a Reader Report*, I’ll offer an evaluation of your overarching ideas and discuss next steps in a one-on-one coaching appointment. Then after you’ve revised your manuscript, I’ll provide a Full Manuscript Edit*. Finally, after you’ve polished your manuscript, I’ll evaluate your Submission Package* before you query agents and editors. (*Read descriptions above for what’s included.)

The Best #Bloggers = Kat, Kate, and Kim

... Featured for today's #AtoZChallenge -  @katrossauthor & @katejarvikbirch & @k_writes ...

Over the years I've learned so much, made so many friends, and been uplifted by so many great bloggers! As a result, I'm recognizing some of the best bloggers for this year's A to Z Challenge. These bloggers have shared knowledge, promotions, jokes, guidance, support, and more. Scroll on down to meet the next set of bloggers.

To the BEST BLOGGERS in the world - I say, "Thank you!"


K is for Kat Ross, Kate Jarvik Birch, and Kim Graff.



Kat Ross is a young adult author. Her debut, SOME FINE DAY, is available now, and she is an avid supporter of other writers. A recent post on her blog addressed the topic of cutting characters. She wrote, "When I had to revise Some Fine Day, there was much cold-blooded murdering of darlings—which actually turned out to be the easy part. My editor and I both agreed they were entertaining guests who were also dropping their dirty underwear on the bathroom floor, crashing on the couch, and not doing really doing much to move the plot anywhere.”

Kate Jarvik Birch had two young adult novels publish this last year, and she says about herself on her blog, "My life is full, overflowing. I'm a painter, a writer, a mother, a procrastinator and a daydreamer. Maybe there isn't time to fit it all into one life, but I'll keep trying. DELIVER ME (Spring 2014, Bloomsbury Spark), PERFECTED (Summer 2014, Entangled), Represented by Kerry Sparks at Levine Greenberg.” Kate regularly features other authors on her blog and tackles various writing topics, too.

 

Kim Graff is woman of many hats, including "a designer, a freelance editor, a book blogger, and a YA writer ... currently interning for Bree Ogden at D4EO. In the past, I've interned for P.S. Literary Agency, Astraea Press, and worked as a personal assistant for Best Selling author Gennifer Albin (Crewel). I offer critique services and create covers for authors. I am a member of the SCBWI, HWA, AWP, and HNS." Kim's blog offers fantastic writing tips and tips on traversing the publishing world. A recent post about common query mistakes, Kim wrote, "Wrong Pages: You don’t submit an “excerpt” — you submit the first five or ten pages. Not some random set of pages from chapter ten.”

Please take three minutes to stop by these three awesome blogs and thank them for all they contribute to the blogosphere!

Q is for Query Shark

 

So … you want to be a writer? Where do you start? How do you get there? No worries. This month I’ll be sharing my A to Z list of writer’s resources: books, blogs, and beyond! Check back each day to find helpful resources for improving your writing and navigating your way through the publishing industry.


Q is for Query Shark

If you are in the trenches of sending query letters to agents, you need to check out this website: http://queryshark.blogspot.com/ 

Writer's Conference: Queries & First Two Pages

[Reposted from 2010 - but the tips are still great!]

Friday, I attended two of Suzie Townsend's (from Fine Print Literary) classes, and I gained insight and ideas from each of them. Loved them.

First, she offered a Workshop Class on how to make your first two pages really stand out from the slush. Here are my notes:

As soon as possible:
1. Establish your character and voice
2. Establish the conflict and move the story forward
3. Establish the tone
4. Establish an indication of setting
5. Catch the reader off guard - to grab them and keep them reading

Goals of first two pages:
1. Create interest in the character and the plot
2. Create intrigue
3. Create investment

Anticipate the pauses when someone is reading and make these your paragraph breaks.

Then she read many pages from participant and critiqued them. Imagine American Idol. (But Suzie is SUPER NICE, unlike Simon.) That was very productive.

Her second class featured strategies for writing a great query letter.

1. Main character
2. What happens to her
3. What choices does she make
4. What terrible thing will happen because of choices

The mc must decide whether to ________. If she does then ___________. If she does not then __________.

Sound stark not verbose. Make your point and then stop talking.

Every three lines, skip a line. This makes it easier to read in an email.

At the end of the class, Suzie went through each of our queries and offered significant feedback.

I was really impressed with Suzie, her skills, and her knowledge. If you're looking for a fabulous agent, I would highly recommend her. Check her out here: http://fineprintlit.com/about-the-agents/suzie-townsend/  [updated link for Suzie: Suzie's Blog]

Is YA a Genre?

 

Funny picture, eh? My daughter is an awesome example of the YA audience.

So you're writing fiction ... young-adult-paranormal-romance fiction (for a specific example) ... and ... then there's a question:

Do you think young adult is a genre?

It's not.

It is an audience.

Genre is a category like: romance, paranormal, fantasy, science fiction, suspense, and so on.

So if you are pitching your paranormal romance to an agent or editor, and they ask, "In which genre do you write?"  If you answer, "I write in the young adult genre." ... eyebrows could be raised, and they could doubt your knowledge of the craft.

Likewise, if you're writing a query letter, make sure you get the terminology correct. You're writing a paranormal romance targeted at the young adult audience. ... NOT: You're writing in the young adult genre with paranormal romance.

Young adult fiction has gained so much popularity, it's easy to think of it as its own category; its own genre; but yet, it is still an audience not a category.

So ... you're writing fiction. 
In what genre are you writing?
;)

Worthwhile Blog Posts

I've been blog hopping, and I thought I'd share some really great posts with you. :) Be sure to click on the link for the full article. I've included a tiny snippet below to catch your interest.

A great post about making money as a writer (self-publish or traditional or hybrid?):
"For authors deciding how to publish their work, the key question is this: Is there some set of practices that any author might adopt to improve chances of gaining readers and income from self-publishing, or are there advantages related to being a traditionally published author that might remain out of reach for the vast majority of self-published authors?"


An interesting post about the role of literary agents:
"... the agenting world has changed dramatically, a reaction to the emerging digital reading marketplace and the changing acquisition strategies of publishers are a result of ownership changes at the biggest publishing houses."


A GREAT post about query letter problems:
"... they are something that gives us pause and makes us rethink whether or not this is something we’re willing to take on, because all of these things do give us a more difficult job going into the relationship.  And yes, we have said No to projects in the end because of the above reasons."

AND ... here are two great blogs that I'm excited to be a part of:
OneFour KidLit
Darkly Delicious YA


Have you found any great blogs post recently?
Share your favorite! (Please.)

A Killer Title

I have read (and own) quite a few books on the craft of writing, but very few tackle the topic of creating a great title.

SAVE THE CAT by Blake Snyder dedicates a page and a half to the topic, which is more than the other books. ;)

Snyder writes, "to come up with one that nails the concept, without being so on the nose that it's stupid, is an art unto itself" (page 9).

Right ... we know that ... but how do we come up with that great title that nails the concept?

I dunno.

Evidence: My debut novel was originally titled THE EDUCATION OF THIA. After several agents used the phrase "too didactic" in their rejection letters, I reconsidered the title and changed it to BUT HE LOVES ME. With that change alone (I left the content of the query letter the same) I received quite a few requests for the full manuscript. So was it a winning title? Not really. After signing with an awesome agent, we worked and worked and worked to come up with a better title. We decided on SAFE. A winner? Not sure. The editor who made an offer on the manuscript said we had to change the title. Okay. Back to the drawing board.

Snyder also writes, "Title and logline are, in fact, the one-two punch, and a good combo never fails to knock me out. Like the irony in a good logline, a great title must have irony and tell the tale. One of the best titles of recent memory, and one I still marvel at, is Legally Blonde. ... It says what it is! ... If it doesn't pass the Say What It Is Test, you don't have your title. And you don't have the one-two punch" (pages 9-10).

So here is the logline my agent used to sell my manuscript:
Margo Kelly’s debut SAFE is a modern take on “the call is coming from inside the house” old urban legend, in which a young girl falls in love with a guy online who comes for her.

And here's the new title my editor and I came up with:
WHO RU REALLY?

Does it pass the Say What It Is Test? Or is it so "on the nose that its stupid?"

Actually, don't answer the second question.

Naming a book is like naming a child. Inevitably someone is going to hate the name, and you can't possibly please everyone.

*sigh*

BUT the good news is, I have a KILLER TITLE for my next book. ;)

How I Got My Agent!!

I'm a believer in writing short blog posts. If you're a believer in reading short posts, then simply read the next sentence, skip down to the bottom, and leave a comment; that will work out fine. :)

Short story:
I wrote a query letter, and she liked it.

or ... check out the ...

Long story:

2009, January: I decided I wanted to change careers and pursue a long forgotten dream of becoming a published author (sound familiar?). I purchased Janet Evanovich's HOW I WRITE and Writer's Digest's GUIDE TO LITERARY AGENTS, and I began my research into the industry.

2009, July: I finished my first manuscript, MANIFESTED, and I started sending out query letters.

2009, August: Rejections started flooding in. I thought I had a pretty tough skin. I knew rejections were part of the process, but one in particular really bothered me. The agency's website had listed SO MANY specifics of what needed to go into a query for them to consider your project; it was a lot of work to tailor my query letter to meet their exact specifications, but I did it. So ... when I received back (via snail mail) a form rejection that was crookedly photocopied and addressed Dear Author ... for some reason that one rejection sent me over the edge. I lit it on fire. Literally. I went outside with a match and sent the piece of paper up in flames. I found it quite liberating. And, then I went back to work and sent out more query letters.

2009, Fall: In the meantime, I knew (based on my industry research) that the most important thing I could do after finishing my first manuscript was to start the next one. And, that's what I did. But, I also, bought more books on the craft of writing, subscribed to magazines and journals that would help me better my skills, and wrote flash fiction to tighten my story telling. And, I hooked up with some great critique partners that I met through the Writer's Digest Community online.

source: http://simplenda.com/tag/winter-rocks

2010, April: Even though I'd received requests for partials and fulls, I came to the harsh realization that my first manuscript, MANIFESTED kinda-blew-chunks-even-though-my-kids-thought-it-was-great (aka was-not-so-good) in the writing department. I shelved it and stopped sending out query letters for it. I focused my time and effort on learning the craft of writing and finishing my next manuscript.

source: http://jessica.mumstudent.com/2011/02/12/slow-down-embrace-the-spring-for-rest/

2010, August: I finished my second manuscript, THE EDUCATION OF THIA, and started sending out query letters.

2010, September: I received a very different response from agents regarding this ms vs the first one. I received quite a few requests for partials and fulls right away, and I just KNEW this was going to be "it!" I was so excited!! When rejections came back from the full requests, I paid attention to the feedback received from the agents. But it was tricky, because while one said, "The main character is too naive" another said, "The main character sounds too adult." Okay. Revisions, none-the-less.

2010, October: With a bright and shiny revised version of THE EDUCATION OF THIA, I headed off to my first ever writer's conference. I met up with my first critique partner, Melissa, who'd I'd met through the WD Community, and we had an absolute blast at the conference. Furthermore, I left the conference with two agents requesting the full ms, and they were very excited about the pitch I'd given them. I just KNEW this was IT!! One of these fantabulous agents was going to offer me a contract. Yes-sir-ee!! Let's celebrate! I went home too excited to work on any writing. I was waiting to hear from the agents. I stopped sending out queries, because I knew one of these agents was gonna be THE ONE!! Wahoo!!

2010, November: I sent very polite follow-up emails to the agents who'd requested fulls at the conference. Both responded right away explaining how busy they were (of course, I get that, I want them to take care of their current clients first, that makes sense). But I was extremely demoralized. I couldn't seem to start a new ms. So, I pulled out MANIFESTED and dusted it off. I figured I could work on rewriting it and improving it until I found my writing mojo again.

2010, December: I started sending out new query letters for THE EDUCATION OF THIA. I changed the title, twice, and changed the query letter many times. I stopped getting requests for partials or fulls for it. Just rejections, or worse yet, no responses at all.

source: http://www.winterwanderland.com/

2011, February: Received email from one conference agent (who had been SO EXCITED about my pitch) telling me that she had decided to shelve my ms, unread. She was no longer looking for new clients, but when she was ready to look again, she'd read the ms then.

2011, May: Received email from second conference agent (who had been SO EXCITED about my pitch) apologizing for the delay in reading my ms. She said the writing was great, but it just didn't excite her. *sigh*

2011, Summer: I went through ups and downs working on rewrites of MANIFESTED, sending query letters for BUT HE LOVES ME (aka The Education of Thia), and trying to rekindle my passion for writing. But, honestly, I was bummed! The "conference experience" had messed up my motivation and broken through my tough skin.

2011, September: I was diagnosed with a pineocytoma, or a cyst, or a tumorous module, or a lesion, or something (ah ... my love for the medical community really soared during this time period). I became distracted with that process and forgot about writing for awhile. But, when the doctors decided it was too dangerous to remove the 12mm thing in the middle of my brain, I had to decide if I was going to be happy or sad and move forward. I chose to be happy and get back to writing.

2011, Fall: I decided I would finish my rewrite of MANIFESTED, and I seriously got back to work. I wanted to achieve my goal. I had hit a tough spot in 2011, but I was finally ready to pick myself back up and get back to what I loved: writing.

Hold on to your seats, here comes the exciting part ...

 2011, November (aka 11-11-11): I sent out 11 queries for BUT HE LOVES ME. The eleventh agent (for reals!) I queried that day requested a partial the same day (it was a Friday). Monday, she requested the full. Wednesday, she requested a phone call. Thursday, we discussed ideas for revisions. I LOVED all of her ideas, and my MOJO exploded with excitement!! She said if I could accomplish these revisions, she'd offer me formal representation. So, I put my head down and got to work. I was on fire!!  I sent her the revised ms about a week and a half later (I know, I know, it's sounds like I rushed it, but I'm telling you: I was ON FIRE!!). She read it right away and requested more revisions. At first I was sad I'd missed the mark, but then I realized, she didn't reject me; she wanted to keep working with me!! So, I got right back to work on more revisions. YAY! I was still so excited about the process of writing and revising. And I was SO THRILLED to think that someone had caught the "vision" of my story. So, while I was busy working on more revisions. She surprised me and mailed me a contract!!! ACK!

2011, December (aka 12-12 (for reals!) 2011): Brianne Johnson of Writers House sent me a contract for representation. And, I haven't stopped smiling since. My husband got up in the middle of the night last night to go pee (I know, TMI), and it woke me up. I couldn't go back to sleep, because I was just so excited about the fact that I, Margo Kelly, have an agent!!! YAY!

So ... that's how I got my agent.

Simple formula for getting an agent = write a manuscript, research the industry, get a critique partner, listen to feedback, revise, revise, revise, write a query, revise it, send query, revise it, write another ms, research the industry, learn from the research, better your skills, revise your query, never give up, keep writing, send more query letters, find another critique partner, listen to feedback, write more, learn more, never give up, send more queries, revise, revise, revise, write more, research more, ... and eat chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate ... and then start the process all over again.

Oh wait ... maybe that's not a simple formula.

How about you?
Do you think there is a "simple formula" for getting an agent? If so, what is it? :0)

Put Me in Coach!

As a writer, have you gone through the query process? Have you successfully found an agent?

At any point in the process, have you ever felt like shouting from the roof tops, "I'm ready!"

But, the agents say:
"Work on your skills."
"No thank you."
"Keep trying."

*sigh*

Have you played sports?

I feel like my daughter and I are going through the same experiences right now. I have skills. She has skills. But, the agents and coaches are busy looking at other players. We need to do something to grab their attention and not let go.

...

"Put me in coach! I'm ready to play ... today! Look at me! I can be ..."



Maybe the coach or agent knows more than us, but maybe the coach or agent has personal preferences as well.

I told my daughter:
"Hustle your butt more."
"Improve your skills."
"Have the most positive attitude possible."
"And keep working at it."

That advice works just as well for those of us in the query trenches.

"Put me in coach! I'm ready to play ... today! Look at me! I can be ..."

Resources for Sending Query Letters

Are you ready to send out some query letters?

Here are some resources I've found very helpful in researching agents:

Literary Rambles (she lists detailed profiles on agents who rep YA)
Preditors & Editors (helpful listing, plus gives warnings & recommendations)
Guide to Literary Agents Blog (one of my all time favorite resources)
Query Tracker (helpful search engine)

Best of luck! :)

Pull Yourself Up by the Boot-Straps

Who knew I was so addicted to my blog? ACK! When blogger had technical issues for awhile ... I could only think about the update I wanted to post NOW regarding yesterday's post. But, since blogger removed yesterday's post (will it ever come back?), an update seems dumb.

And yet, I MUST!

I wanted to let you all know that I've pulled myself up by my boot-strings ... or is it boot-straps? I tried to google the origin of the phrase, but I typed in boot-strings and smiled at the results:

I suppose, I could use *those* boots to lift my spirits. YIKES!

So, then, I googled boot-straps, and had much better success for my intended purpose!

Well, okay, I might not ever be seen wearing pink cowboy boots ... but I would definitely be seen wearing hiking boots:

I might even own that pair of hiking shoes, with the "boot-strap" on the back heel. Hmm. And you thought that strap was just to help you pull your shoe on!! Nope.

Now, the origin of the phrase is debateable ... but the point of the phrase is to empower yourself to do something that seems utterly impossible.

If you'd like to know more about the history of the phrase "pulling yourself up by your boot-straps" check out this great post I found:
History of the Phrase

Otherwise, simply know that I've recovered! And to toy with another phrase ... what are you supposed to do if you fall off a horse/bicycle/swing? Get right back on!!  So, I've already sent out over ten new query letters to agents.

Thanks for all of your support and all of the virtual chocolate. I ate it all and didn't even gain a pound. Nice. Too bad computers don't have a "scratch-n-sniff" application! Wait ... maybe that's a good thing.

Do you own any shoes with boot-straps?

REJECTED: please send chocolate

Get out the red ink pad and stamp that manuscript: REJECTED! REJECTED! REJECTED!

(Can you tell I've gone two whole days with NO chocolate of any kind?)

Does one kind of rejection feel differently than another kind?

Yes.

I know, rejection is rejection. But, frankly, while receiving a rejection based solely off a query letter is disappointing ... it is no big deal compared to receiving a rejection based off a full manuscript request.

And, I promised myself from day one, that if I ever had a full ms rejected, I would pay attention to the feedback of the agent and make appropriate changes. And, I have done this. But, how do I know what to do with a response that says:

"...while I enjoyed what I read, in today's highly competitive marketplace I can only take on projects I am passionate about--and unfortunately, I just didn’t feel the level of engagement here that I would need in order to represent you..."

I know, I *should* think, "YAY! I'm getting so much closer to getting an agent!" But no. Instead I think (and understand this entire rant could possibly be due to lack of freaking chocolate), "I suck. This is taking forever. I'm so frustrated."

But, I will tell you ... the only thing more frustrating than this type of rejection is receiving NO RESPONSE at all. I would chose the disappointment of a rejection any day over no response at all.

So, a big thank you to all of the agents who take the time to actually respond to writers.

I will not quit. I will keep sending query letters. I will find the right agent for me.

I will. I will. I will.

Please send chocolate as soon as possible.

A Killer Title

I'm currently reading SAVE THE CAT by Blake Snyder. In it, he discusses the importance of a killer title.

I have to admit, I had not worried too much about my titles, because I've heard so many times that the title most likely will be changed along the publishing path.

However, I have also recently read more than once that agents request pages based on the killer title alone.

This started my wheels turning.

And, then ... I received a query rejection yesterday that said my plot seemed more intent on teaching a lesson than telling a story. This was based solely on the query letter, no sample pages. (You can view a version of my query HERE and/or HERE.)

Hmm. I read the query and thought, wow. Really? But then, I just kept thinking ... maybe it's the title?! The title could be construed as condescending or preachy. Not my intention. I thought it sounded cool.

So ... now I'm on the hunt for a better title. Not easy.

Blake Snyder writes, "One of the best titles of recent memory, and one I still marvel at, is Legally Blonde. Whe I think about all the bad titles it could have been -- Barbie Goes to Harvard, Totally Law School, Airhead Apparent -- to come up with one that nails the concept, without being so on the nose that it's stupid, is an art unto itself. I am jealous of that title. A good sign!" (page 9).

What's the best book title that comes to mind for you? Does it "nail" what the concept of the book is about?

DETERMINATION

Oh my gosh. That last post was so depressing, I almost think I should delete it! How do we change our own attitude?

...by making a choice...

I'm a positive thinker by nature, and I don't care how hard the query process becomes...I will not quit. Why? Because I am a writer, and because I am determined.

So, I will be my own Tigger--and spring back!

Definition of DETERMINATION (from www.merriam-webster.com)


1a : a judicial decision settling and ending a controversy b : the resolving of a question by argument or reasoning

2archaic : termination

3a : the act of deciding definitely and firmly; also : the result of such an act of decision b : firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end

4: a fixing or finding of the position, magnitude, value, or character of something: as a : the act, process, or result of an accurate measurement b : an identification of the taxonomic position of a plant or animal

5a : the definition of a concept in logic by its essential constituents b : the addition of a differentia to a concept to limit its denotation

6: direction or tendency to a certain end : impulsion

7: the fixation of the destiny of undifferentiated embryonic tissue

See determination defined for English-language learners »

Examples of DETERMINATION

What he lacked in talent he made up for in determination.

The new instruments allow for more precise determination of the size of the tumor.

The document will be used for determination of ownership.

First Known Use of DETERMINATION

14th century

Related to DETERMINATION

Synonyms: decidedness, decision, decisiveness, determinedness, firmness, granite, purposefulness, resoluteness, resolution, resolve, stick-to-itiveness

Antonyms: hesitation, indecision, indecisiveness, irresoluteness, irresolution, vacillation
 
So, what will you be today? Determined or Hesitant?

Query Letter Rejections

Rejection SUCKS makes us stronger.

Here's your link for the day: I love Mary Kole's blog. :)

In addition to the link above, you can click on the tag "rejection" on Mary's side bar and read a lot of great posts on the topic.

So, in theory, "personalized" rejections are a good sign. I get that. Intellectually. However, emotionally, those personalized rejections are agonizing because it feels like... oh... so close... but not quite...

I've been getting a lot of those personalized rejections lately. Which, don't get me wrong here, I am very grateful to be moving up the query ladder, and I am especially grateful for ANY response at all, but sitting on this precipice is making me dizzy.

How's your query process going for you? Are you getting more responses addressed "Dear Author" or are you getting some personalized responses?

Submitting Query Letters & Manuscripts in the Digital Age

Maybe I should just post helpful links this week... What do you think?

I stumbled upon this post Monday and learned a few things about submissions! Check it out:
Query Letters & Manuscript Submissions

Have you come across a helpful blog post recently?

Know Your Market

During the day (some days) I sell Bernina Sewing Machines. I love it. It's fun. And, that's what I did all day Friday. However, I'm constantly thinking about writing, and Friday, I couldn't help but compare first time shoppers to first time writers.

Many times, a first time shopper will come in to look at Berninas. Why? Because they are the best. (Seriously, Consumer Reports ranked the Bernina 440QE as the #1 sewing machine in 2010.) Just saying... Anyway... (I easily get sidetracked...)

So, first time shoppers come in because they want to buy a machine, but often times they will see the price tag and nearly faint right there in the store. Why? Because they had NO IDEA a sewing machine could cost $12,000. (That's right. I did not add an extra zero, but that is for the top of the line model 830.) Now, granted there are also entry-level Berninas that cost $649 (on sale right now, a real steal!) and Bernettes (I like to call them baby Berninas) that are as low as $149.  But, many people see the $12,000 price tag and walk away thinking, "Oh, man. I can never do that." They didn't research the market at all first, and left prematurely because they were caught by surprise.

How does this compare to the first time writer?

Often, first time writers will think, "I'm gonna write a book!" And, they (we, us, me) jump right into it and write the book. But, then when the writer shops it around (queries agents), they are disappointed no one wants it. And, then many times, these writers will quit shopping because they are caught by surprise and don't understand the industry.

Furthermore, many writers don't research and study the market they're writing for and/or the business of writing.

We need to research, ask questions, learn, improve, and keep shopping around until we find just the right fit for ourselves and our ms. Maybe the $12,000 machine isn't right for us, but maybe... it is. Maybe we need to save the money first (learn our craft and build our skills).

Does this make sense only in my brain?

Query Magic (or skill?)

Okay. So, one of my critique partners (shout out to Shannon) sent a query for critique to the A.MAZ.ING. Elana Johnson. I read the before and after versions, and could NOT click fast enough to get myself over to Elana's website.

Here's how it works:
Click Here to go to Elana's website.
Then download her book, From the Query to the Call, for $10.
With the purchase of the book, you then get to send Elana your query.
She critiques it and sends it back to you.

My critique pal sent her revised query out and lightning fast got a request for a full from a top-notch agent!

Wanna read my before and after queries?  Here ya go:

Before:

Thirteen-year-old Cynthia Reid (Thia) falls in love with an internet predator. Of course she doesn’t know Mike is a predator. She just wants a boyfriend, and her over-protective parents won’t let her date until sixteen. So, hooking up with a boy during an online game seems like the perfect solution…until Thia’s mom catches her emailing innocent pictures. Then she loses her computer for weeks. When Thia finally gets it back, she learns that Mike attempted suicide in her absence.


Out of fear and guilt, Thia gives Mike her cell phone number, because she doesn’t want to be responsible for his death. The burden becomes too heavy to bear, but she doesn’t know who to trust. She knows Mike would never lie to her, because he loves her, and she chooses to believe him over her friends and her parents. As her online relationship with Mike intensifies, Thia’s real world begins to crumble. Her friendships shatter, her lies come more easily, and her relationship with her parents teeters on the brink.

Thia’s life spins out of control when her mom calls the police after discovering text messages from Mike on Thia’s phone. But even after Thia is shown evidence of who Mike really is, she stills chooses to believe Mike…until he shows up on her doorstep as a forty-five-year-old man.

Inspired by actual events, The Education of Thia is a 62,000 word young adult novel.

This is a multiple submission, and three agents are currently reviewing the full manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.

After:
 
Thirteen-year-old Cynthia Reid desperately wants a boyfriend but her parents won’t let her date until she’s sixteen—so she turn to the Internet, where she finds Mike. When Thia’s mom catches her hooking up with Mike during an online game, and then finds out she’s been emailing him innocent pictures, Thia loses her computer. When she finally gets it back, she learns that Mike attempted suicide in her absence.


She’s convinced Mike loves her, and would never lie to her, but as her online relationship intensifies, Thia’s real world begins to crumble. Her friendships shatter, her lies come more easily, and her relationship with her parents teeters on the brink.

When Thia’s mom finds text messages from Mike on Thia’s phone, she digs for answers. Even when Thia is shown evidence of who Mike really is, she doesn’t believe her mom—until Mike shows up on her doorstep.

He’s a forty-five-year-old man.

......
So... what do you think? Which one do you like better? I vote for Elana's version, and I can't hardly wait to send it out. I've had to use massive amounts of will power to not send it... but I really want to make a few additional revisions to the ms before I send it. I don't want to "waste" any full requests!!

Go visit Elana's website and buy her book! Purely amazing critique.