Wednesday, December 1, 2010

MANIFESTED, chapter one

Hmm... check it out:

I've posted the REVISED revised revised (etc.) version of MANIFESTED chapter one. This was a HARD revision - - still not quite sure if it's just right - - but I switched it from first person p.o.v. to third person and expanded the first chapter to include more information than the original version.

Check it out and let me know what you think. And, if you read the original version, let me know how you think it compares. :)

I off to SLC.


  1. I started reading your first chapter before I got distracted by kids. I am loving the premise so far. I will definitely be reading the rest of this chapter tonight before bed.

    Are you querying yet? If so, how's that going? If not, why?

    I still have to put the award you gave me on my blog. I am so far behind becaus of NaNo. I hope to get caught up soon.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting today. I'm glad your son was able to get out there but I can't blame you for worrying. It is better to get out earlier than later though. The further back you are in line the longer the lines are and the more drama you encounter as a result.

  2. Margo,
    I've read both :)

    and I have to say I like the second version better :)


  3. Done! I just read the second version. I'm not sure where to find the first version. However, I doubt I need to. I think this opening is great. I'm already heavily invested in Luke.

    You know which agent is looking for YA from a male POV? Kathleen Ortiz. She has a blog:

    She asked for my partial back over the summer. She was great. I ultimately got a rejection but it was a helpful one. It's a long story. However, I'm still keeping her on my list for other stories I want to query next year.

    Where are you at with querying?