Great contest being offered by Brenda Drake (Click here for details)
And, if you like contests, scroll down...
I'm giving away TWO different books! YAY!
Here's my first line for the blogfest contest:
"Some old dead guy once said a journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step. "
Let me know what you think in the comments.
And, check out the previous two posts for a chance to win a book (or two)!
Hints at great voice.ReplyDelete
Hello fellow blogfest participant :)ReplyDelete
You already know I like this one!
Some old guy? xD Usually this wouldn't be a great opening, but by adding "some old guy" you give it a great voice that makes it work wonders.ReplyDelete
I agree with the others that adding in "some old dead guy" gives this such voice...nice job!ReplyDelete
Love it, still!!ReplyDelete
"Some old dead guy said journeys start with just one step, that would land me in ...ReplyDelete
Love the voice. It suggests that more dry wit is to come. Great job. RolandReplyDelete
I love this line. I'm guessing from the voice the genre is YA or MG.ReplyDelete
The voice is definitely coming through:)ReplyDelete
I agree with the voice and my guess is YA.ReplyDelete
Great character voice in this one. Nice.ReplyDelete
LOL I love it. The voice is strong with this one. :)ReplyDelete
Ha ha. I love the "Some old dead guy..." as an opener! :-)ReplyDelete
Great first line. Love it. :)ReplyDelete
I like the voice in this. I would change the "Some" to "An" but that might be just personal preference. It definitely intrigues me and makes me want to keep reading.ReplyDelete
I agree with what other people have said - love the some old dead guy part.ReplyDelete
Agree with the above - it had me drawn in immediately.ReplyDelete
This is really funny. It made me laugh.ReplyDelete
I -kinda- like it. Shows humor and action, implies a journey.ReplyDelete
I would, however, change the far to vague and flat 'some old dead guy' to something like 'someone famous once said'
Great voice! So are we about to embark on a journey of some kind?ReplyDelete
Thanks for stopping by my blog! Good luck!
Sounds like the narrator has a bit of an attitude. I like that!ReplyDelete
Love the "old dead guy" reference.ReplyDelete
I would definitely read more. I like the humor in the first line. I think it is just vague enough for me to want to find out more!ReplyDelete
By adding "some old guy" you're hinting at the characters voice. I love it.ReplyDelete
I really like the voice, Margo. Nice job. I'd definitely keep reading.ReplyDelete
(Oh, and btw, I'm interviewing Sara on my blog in a few days. I'm so excited to read her book!)
Best of luck!
Like the other said, adding "some old guy" adds voice and tweaks an overused phrase, making it fresher.ReplyDelete
On the other hand, this is what "some old guy" though, not necessarily the character. I'm wondering what the character's reaction is to this...I really have no idea if the character is a boy, girl, what they're doing, or what they're about, ya know?
Hm, afraid I didn't like this as much as other folks - I don't find overly-worn quotes that compelling as an opening, even with the strong voice of the narrator. I'd rather get this sense of voice from the narrator's attitude toward his/her surroundings. On the other hand, sounds like others are loving it, so take that with a grain of salt.ReplyDelete
Some old dead guy--makes me think of a detective novel. I can hear the voice saying this, Margo. Good Job!ReplyDelete
I like your opener, and it is funny and gives a good feel for the voice. I am guessing YA as well?ReplyDelete
Oooh, I love the voice here. It really cracked me up. I'm going to guess and say this is YA? Maybe? Lol, either way, great job! This is very nicely done.ReplyDelete
Thanks for sharing :)
Alas, I'm with Nora, and it doesn't work for me. You've added a twist to a proverb, but you're still opening with a proverb. I wouldn't stop reading, but you'd need to reel me in quickly.ReplyDelete
It's a great sentence and one that I laughed at, but it doesn't tell me much about your story. I guess I was just looking for something about your fantastic story to make me want to read more.ReplyDelete
But I agree with others, it does lend a certain weight to your writing style, which to me, sounds great!
I love this, it's that simple. It's got voice and hook and I think to do much editing would remove that feeling. Great job ^_^ReplyDelete
Interesting voice. Is this YA?ReplyDelete
Definitely draws me in, and I want to read on and get to know this narrator :)ReplyDelete
You introduce humor and narrative voice, which are both excellent things.ReplyDelete
I don't quite feel the tension, it doesn't sound like the narrator is worried too badly. Somehow my curiousity isn't as sharp as it might be, I understand the reference and the arch way he makes it, so there are no questions leading me on.
I would still read on, I'm curious and I like the voice. This may be a very good opening line but I'm not sure it's superb.
Great job. I can already feel the voice and they're talking to the reader and about to explain what just went down.ReplyDelete
I like it. :)
Very curious about the next sentence...ReplyDelete